I woke up in the morning and all I could hear was the rain
hitting my conservatory roof. Soon after that I heard a tree crashing to the
ground then a fork of lighting hit another tree then the tree started a fire but the heavy rain soon put it out. All the schools in my local area where
closed and there was nothing to do. Suddenly all he lights turned off so I was
stuck in the dark walking into walls.
The next day the storm headed to the south that was the most violent storm I ever experienced.
The next day the storm headed to the south that was the most violent storm I ever experienced.
A good description of your 'experience' of the storm. I liked the detailed information about the trees.
ReplyDeleteYou used powerful verbs to make the reader enjoy and read more and like mr ball said you used a good description of your expirience. Well done. by Summer
ReplyDeleteThanks Lewis-I like the verbs you have used to describe the action- hitting and crashing work very well - do think about other ways than 'then' to link ideas.
ReplyDeletesf(Team 100)
A very good effort here, Lewis. You have described the violence of the storm, with the trees crashing and the heavy rain plus there is a little bit of humour with you 'walking into walls'.
ReplyDeleteKeep working hard on sentence structure and whenever possible see if you can think of other words to describe nouns or verbs.
Well done :-)
Trish Burgess (Team 100WC)