Strolling around his front garden he saw a ginormous man! The man had huge teeth as he opened his mouth and a yellow pointy nose and he wore a tiny party hat he also wore some very peculiar clothes they looked like they were clowns cloths.
It was like he was being watched he shouted to the amazing clown “what is your name and talks don’t be afraid”! But there was no answer from the clown. All it did was stand still quietly and silently. It got quite scary so I sprinted into my house. And the clown never returned.
Think about where you need to add punctuation in your second sentence.
ReplyDeleteRead carefully what your character shouted to the clown - does it make sense?
I was a bit disappointed by the ending - could you have left the story open for further development?
Finlay, I haven't read a creepy clown story in a while. Good description. I agree with David that an opening to more chapters would be welcome.
ReplyDeleteAndy Knill Team 100WC, Essex, UK