Monday 4 November 2013

Jake 100 Word Challenge #10

One grey morning rain slowly trickled down from the sky; it made tiny puddles on the ground. Then it started to rain heavily till the puddles started to look like ponds. 
In the next hour the puddles slowly started to turn into a river, which ran through the street. There were leaves of all different colours and sizes swimming through the water. Planks of rotting wood floated down the river. The rain came to a standstill. The water was still. The water was dead and so was the stinky, mean, wrinkly, old man, floating in the clear, icy cold water.

2 comments:

  1. Jake, I really liked the way you started your writing by describing how the rain created the river. The way you described the rain stopping and the water becoming still was very good too!

    I do think you could have been kinder with your choice of adjectives to describe the old man in the circumstances!

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  2. I liked the way the leaves were swimming through the water Jake. You described the ending to the storm really well too. Who was the man? Where did he appear from?
    100wc team

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