Sunday 21 September 2014

100WC#04 by Harvey

During the holiday we decided to go and visit the zoo. We went to see the crocodiles in the reptile house. It was very dark, hot and a bit smelly. The zookeeper was in there and about to feed the crocodile. First he threw the crocodile an orange and a pepper but the crocodile didn’t show any interest and went back to the bush to hide. Then the keeper threw some soft juicy meat and he came running out and snapped and crushed it in his jaws straight away. I had forgot just how powerful their jaws really are.    

4 comments:

  1. Well done David, the crocodile idea is a great way to include all of the words form the prompt. I like the powerful verbs snapped and crushed that you used to describe the crocodile eating. I could really picture it.
    Next steps -> The sentences at the start of your piece are rather short, could you use connectives to join or extend them.
    Mrs Hames (Team 100) London, UK.

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  2. *You used all five words.
    *You used powerful verbs to really describe and give a bigger image of the scene.
    EBI-You used all 100 words so you could add more detail.

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  3. This is well presented Harvey. You have used the prompt words and told your story clearly, with good punctuation and descriptive words, well done.

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  4. nice story keep up the good work

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