Today, I am going to a
chocolate factory with my friends, I can't wait. At last it was finally time to go. I had been asking mum for ages when it was time. Mum dropped me off and I
could see all my friends waiting. As we all walked in, I could not believe the
smell. Then Megan shouted “I can smell orange!” We all thought this was strange
because all we could see was strawberries everywhere. This was a very strange
place. As we carried on around the factory we realised nothing was quite as it
seemed, but still we had a great time.
Hi Caitlin. This sounds like a really good trip - I think that I’d like to take my class around a chocolate factory! You’ve put a nice twist in your story and created some suspense with things not seeming as they should. Well done with using different sentence types, and the use of the comma in the sentence beginning, “As we all walked in”.
ReplyDeleteWell done for entering this week’s 100 word challenge.
Miss Willing, Team 100WC
Huntingdon, England
Hello Caitlin. You got me intrigued to find out what sort of place the chocolate factory really was, with stawberries and oranges but no chocolate in sight! I like it how you used appropriate punctuation including inverted commas around speech.
ReplyDeleteKeep on writing! :-)
Mrs Johnson, Team 100
Northampton, UK