Saturday 17 January 2015

The light was so bright by Jemima

One morning I woke up, ate my breakfast, got dressed and did my teeth. Then, when I had finished I went downstairs and watched some tv. After that I called my friend and we talked about what we were going to do after school had finished. Then, all of a sudden my friend said, "Whoa!" in a surprised voice. I asked her what was the matter and she told me that the light was SO bright through her bedroom window. I decided to take a look out of my window and all that I saw was lots of snow and roads covered in slippery ice.............

1 comment:

  1. Dear Jemima,
    Thank you for taking part in this week's 100 Word Challenge writing prompt. I thought it was a funny coincidence that on the day I read this post, I was also experiencing roads that are covered in slippery ice! But we don't have snow here today, we have a freezing rain that is leaving our roads icy and it is causing many car accidents. Nice job using the prompt to describe an event that could be happening now during winter. Once suggestion I would like to make is that in the future, you might want to skip the details about everyday things that you put in the beginning of your story and instead give more detail about the problems that the ice and snow might be causing people in your area. We just got an alert on our cell phones from the emergency broadcasting system to stay indoors until the temperature rises above freezing. Keep up the great work with your grammar and punctuation!
    Mrs. Schmidt (Team 100WC)
    Grade 3 Teacher
    Pennsylvania, USA

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