Wednesday 25 March 2015

Caitlin - My Ultimate Adventure

…My ultimate adventure…

The clock ticked loudly in my ear. I slowly came round from a deep sleep. This was the day, today was the day, my ultimate adventure… I was going to cycle the coast of Britain. A huge crowd gathered as I was about to set off. I could feel my heart pounding. I had a nervous feeling in my tummy. The days got tougher as my body ached more and more. I didn’t think I could make it. As the crowd cheered I managed to finally finish. It was a great feeling when I saw the amount of money raised!

2 comments:

  1. Lynne, Team100WC, Edinburgh in Scotland29 March 2015 at 12:36

    Emotions, ranging from nervousness to self-doubt, are very effectively conveyed in this piece. Using short sentences adds to the atmosphere too. As this describes a very personal challenge, it makes sense to write in the first person and there was some variety in the way the sentences opened. Well done Caitlin.

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  2. I liked the way you started this so evocatively with the clock ticking in your ear. You've done a great job of describing the nerves and suspense before you set off and the pain of the challenge. I wonder how many days it takes to cycle round Britain and what you saw on your way. Excellently done.

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