tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8192955641160035348.post5163104203089667709..comments2023-06-10T12:33:38.919+01:00Comments on 100 Word Challenge @ The Richmond School: …Gas, Dancer, Green, Swimming, Likely…by KirstenDavid Ballhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07808890305733269826noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8192955641160035348.post-75233744310421096782016-02-28T20:30:57.155+00:002016-02-28T20:30:57.155+00:00Dear Kirsten,
Well done in this challenge! I LOVED...Dear Kirsten,<br />Well done in this challenge! I LOVED the way you used the prompt and I also liked how you have used some interesting, descriptive adjectives "Green, frilly, crazy" Well done!<br /><br />Next time, maybe you could change some of your openers so they don't all start with "I". "I was walking to the swimming pool one morning when I saw a giant explosion. <br />Walking to the swimming pool, I saw a giant explosion. <br /><br />Good luck in the next challenge!<br />Come and view our blog http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/<br /><br />From Daisy, 6D.Daisynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8192955641160035348.post-37812671032452823062016-02-28T00:17:39.667+00:002016-02-28T00:17:39.667+00:00Hello Kirsten,
Firstly, thank you for highlightin...Hello Kirsten,<br /><br />Firstly, thank you for highlighting the prompt words so they were easy to find.<br /><br />I smiled as I imagined all of your strange experiences on the way to the swimming pool. An explosion from an overheated gas tank is tragic. The appearance of a belly dancer brought a strange twist into the story but the idea of fun hour made me wonder if you were the victim of a series of pranks. Well done.<br /><br />Your story reminded me a little of my town’s yearly Crazy Day sale where staff in shops dress up in strange clothing and performers are on the streets. Yes, we did once have a belly dancer but luckily no explosions.<br /><br />I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation, a sign you are developing good writing skills. Again, well done. <br /><br />With your obvious creative ideas, I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. Writers should share their worlds and adventures with others.<br /><br />Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)<br />Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia<br />rmannellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10325881715643049499noreply@blogger.com