Saturday, 27 February 2016

…Gas, Dancer, Green, Swimming, Likely…by Kirsten

I was walking to the swimming pool one morning when I saw a giant explosion. It was a gas tank that had likely just over heated. I walked into the changing rooms to then see a lady in a green frilly costume belly dancing! How strange! Once changed I got in the swimming pool and then found out that it was fun hour at the pool. Great! Just what I needed to finish my day! A gas tank explosion, then a crazy belly dancer performing and now fun hour at the pool. How much worse could my day get?


  1. Hello Kirsten,

    Firstly, thank you for highlighting the prompt words so they were easy to find.

    I smiled as I imagined all of your strange experiences on the way to the swimming pool. An explosion from an overheated gas tank is tragic. The appearance of a belly dancer brought a strange twist into the story but the idea of fun hour made me wonder if you were the victim of a series of pranks. Well done.

    Your story reminded me a little of my town’s yearly Crazy Day sale where staff in shops dress up in strange clothing and performers are on the streets. Yes, we did once have a belly dancer but luckily no explosions.

    I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation, a sign you are developing good writing skills. Again, well done.

    With your obvious creative ideas, I hope you can continue entering the 100WC. Writers should share their worlds and adventures with others.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  2. Dear Kirsten,
    Well done in this challenge! I LOVED the way you used the prompt and I also liked how you have used some interesting, descriptive adjectives "Green, frilly, crazy" Well done!

    Next time, maybe you could change some of your openers so they don't all start with "I". "I was walking to the swimming pool one morning when I saw a giant explosion.
    Walking to the swimming pool, I saw a giant explosion.

    Good luck in the next challenge!
    Come and view our blog

    From Daisy, 6D.