Saturday, 2 July 2016

The Prison Cell by Tyler W

In the gloomy prison cell, the mould grows down from the rusted tap down to the floor; the bed as solid as a layer of bricks, a pillow like a book. The key got, “lost” the day my arch enemy James started to work at this prison and somehow I have survived in a mouldy room with a solid bed and a damp grimy floor. Only having two meals a day; soggy bread and old water. The only company being two dead flies and a living moth. Life in this prison cell is tough just imagine all the painful sorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Tyler W,

    You know the power words can have to create images in the minds of readers and have done so with exactly 100 words. The use of descriptive words, when well written, shares the imagination of the writer with those who read. It brings the reader in line with the world created by the writer. Well done.

    I can see the care you have taken with spelling and punctuation. Again, well done.

    My only suggestion might be for your last four sentences where you might need small adjustments. As an example, here is one sentence with a small change..

    The only company is two dead flies and a living moth,

    Using "being" would make this sentence more like a phrase after a comma but this is just my thought. You are the writer.

    With your creative imagination, skill with descriptive language and developing skills as a writer, I hope you have more chances to enter the 100WC. Writers should share their adventures with the world.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia