Saturday, 1 April 2017

Hard Beautiful Brown Worried Camera by Cloud

“Mum the cake’s on fire!” I yelled.  

We only had ten minutes until grandma was going to arrive, it was her birthday and we had forgotten all about it at the last minute. We grabbed everything that had anything to do with baking and shoved it into the oven as a last minute present. I was so worried that the cake would turn out terribly. Ding dong! Oh no I thought to myself… she’s here. I took the hard cake out of the oven and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a beautiful brown colour! Luckily grandma loved the cake and asked for the camera. 

1 comment:

  1. Hello Cloud,

    A cooking disaster is a real possibility when we're in a rush because cooking a cake can't be done quickly. In your story, everything worked out for the better and grandma had a wonderful birthday. Well done for effectively using the five prompt words and creating an interesting story.

    The care you have taken with spelling, punctuation and grammar demonstrates your growing skills as a writer. Your opening sentence was a good example of speech and the use of an exclamation mark. Again, well done.

    I hope you have the opportunity to continue entering the 100WC. I know your school year is about to end but, perhaps as you move on in grade, the opportunities will be there. Good writers should share their adventures.

    Ross Mannell
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia