Saturday, 21 January 2017

… as the weather changed..., by Kirsten

I was happily typing up my homework on my new laptop when I heard a loud bang. It sounded like it was coming from outside so I looked out of the window to see if I could see anything, but I couldn't. I could only see a few people walking. It must have been someone gardening, so I decided to keep on typing. Then the bang came back and the sky turned grey. The people were still walking by and as the weather changed, they ran and sheltered under a tree. The sky was now bright blue! That was strange!

1 comment:

  1. Hey, great story. I like the fact that you describe something without ever saying what it is, its really effective as it keeps the reader guessing. I think your writing is good, my challenge for you would be to use some new vocabulary- 'happily' is such a dull word. I think you could find at least 20 more exciting words to use. Sometimes it can be really useful to pick a few words you use a lot and look in a thesaurus and discover alternative words, then look up the alternative words in a thesaurus and just keep expanding your vocabulary. You can find words with similar meanings that can all be used for different situations. Exciting writing involves good structure and interesting words.