A pretty girl called Katie was walking her beautiful
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel whose name was James. Katie took James across her
street to the harbour when a police car burst out of nowhere and it frightened
both Katie and James. James did not like the alarm and Katie was so stunned she
did not notice the constant barking by James, who was so scared and quivered as
the light was so bright from the flashing sirens and so hurriedly ran away from
Katie straight in front of the police car. Fortunately Katie quickly grabbed
James into her safe arms.
Thank goodness Katie saved James! Well done Sophia, this is a super little story, with lots of detail and some great language (stunned, quivered, hurriedly). Just be careful with your long sentences, and make sure that they are punctuated properly to help out your reader. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteWell done, Sophie. You have used some great descriptive language . Be careful to check your punctuation as some of your sentences are very long . You could break some of them down. Sometimes a few short sentences make an impact . Keep up the good work
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