Saturday 24 January 2015

…what was that I could feel?…by Rio

It was the annual cubs camping event and this year we were going to a spooky forest called Dear Death. When we got there we set the tents up and the fire. Later we went exploring to find something the older scouts had hidden for us to find. It was getting dark and foggier by the minute which made everyone petrified and jumpy. Something strange was happening in front of me but I couldn't see it because of the fog. I was putting my hands in front of me to see what was there. What was that I could feel?

1 comment:

  1. Wow Rio, what a brilliant piece of writing. I love how you create a turning point in the middle when the dark and fog sets in. It all seems quite friendly up until that point! Your punctuation is spot on and I love the mysterious ending, I would love to read the next paragraph to find out what it was that you could feel! Next time, try including some speech to bring the characters to life. Keep up the great writing!

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