“Guys, shall we do a big parade at the start of the football match this time so it makes it like it more special?” Daniel asked politely.
“But that’s what happens in Brazil when they do the world cup,” Sam explained.
“Oh yeh, so does anyone else have any ideas?” Daniel asked.
“Well, none of us do so you will have to keep our football in the exactly same way,” Sam snapped.
“Ok then,” Daniel cried. So all of them kept the football in the same way but no one was interested so they were out of business for good! All of them were really upset too.
Millie I'm not sure what you meant by "keep our football," were these people the players or some kind of organizers of the games?
ReplyDeleteI like your choices of words: politely, snapped, cried. These things do help the reader to feel the emotions of the speaker. They help us to understand the scene better. Well done, keep writing!
Hi Millie,
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea for your story - rather than writing about the actual game, you explored a different aspect of it.
Great use of speech marks throughout your writing.
I thought it was good that you said that "Sam snapped" and "Daniel cried". It really helped to add in some emotion to your story and set the scene that there was some upset going on.
Well done for entering this weeks 100 Word Challenge.
Mrs Symonds (Team 100WC)
Cambridge, UK
I love your story Millie, I love the way you included the Daniel cried and the Sam snapped.
ReplyDeletefrom Rui Mason