Me and my family were on a camping trip for the weekend and my sister noticed a green nut-shell which had spikes under it. It looked like it can take over the world with an army. It looked like there wouldn’t be a brighter future for us because the green nut-shell looked evil like. After staring at the green nut-shell for an hour we carried on walking through the forest and kicking the autumn leaves at the same time. Suddenly, I noticed that the green nut-shells were moving off their branches to the ground and they were chasing after us…
Saturday 2 June 2018
Grace B 100WC#33
Me and my family were on a camping trip for the weekend and my sister noticed a green nut-shell which had spikes under it. It looked like it can take over the world with an army. It looked like there wouldn’t be a brighter future for us because the green nut-shell looked evil like. After staring at the green nut-shell for an hour we carried on walking through the forest and kicking the autumn leaves at the same time. Suddenly, I noticed that the green nut-shells were moving off their branches to the ground and they were chasing after us…
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Hi Grace,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting use of the prompt. I like the concept of the green colour being like army camouflage, but you've used 'the green nut shell' name four times. I wonder if you could have thought of other descriptions for it - perhaps 'the scary objects' or 'those spiky orbs'. What do you think.
Jackie (Team 100WC)
New Zealand
Hi Grace!
ReplyDeleteWhat an imaginative story! Its exciting to think of discovery some mysterious fruit while on a walk, although it sounded like it was getting a bit scary for your characters towards the end!
I agree with Jackie that it is good to use more than one name to refer to things if you can, in order to mix things up a little!
Keep on writing!
Ana, Team100, Oxford, England