Saturday, 12 March 2016

Statues by Anesha

I was walking down the street and I saw this unusual statue it looked like three people were talking and they were all gold. I had never seen it before and one of them was wearing a suit and the other two was wearing a dress they looked very silly. I wanted to ask them why was they wearing a dress but I couldn’t because they cannot talk they was very boring they wasn’t very colourful and on their jacket it said their name on it they said Tom and Jeff and the last one was Tim.

1 comment:

  1. Hello David,

    You initially hooked me into this piece with the idea of the unusual statue which intrigued me to read on further. You started to describe these people who I understand you assume are boring, its a good start and I feel this piece could take an interesting turn!

    You have tried to describe these people and used correct spelling however you have mixed up some of the tenses such as in the last sentence as it is past tense it should be 'were very boring' and 'they weren't very colourful'.

    Well Done!