One windy morning I got up and got dressed because I am going to an amazing cake competition. I am going to make a chocolate cake. So I went to a small shop and got my yummy ingredients. After that I got a bike to get home it had pink stripes, it cost a lot of money. But I would use it a lot to get to places and be healthy. When I was at home I got all my ingredients on the counter and baked my cake, I could not believe the smell it was lovely! I was just in time to get there. Guess what? I got first place it was amazing.Saturday 18 October 2014
Mia …I could not believe the smell…
One windy morning I got up and got dressed because I am going to an amazing cake competition. I am going to make a chocolate cake. So I went to a small shop and got my yummy ingredients. After that I got a bike to get home it had pink stripes, it cost a lot of money. But I would use it a lot to get to places and be healthy. When I was at home I got all my ingredients on the counter and baked my cake, I could not believe the smell it was lovely! I was just in time to get there. Guess what? I got first place it was amazing.
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Hello Mia and thank you for entering the 100 WC this week! Reading your work all about baking has made me feel really hungry, especially as I'm watching a repeat of The Great British Bake Off on TV at the same time! I like how you've used a variety of interesting words- amazing, yummy, healthy... all of these words stand out! Your punctuation and spelling are accurate, which makes your writing easy to read. Thank you for brightening up my day. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteMrs Davis, Team 100WC, Cambridge, England
Hi Mia
ReplyDeleteGreat work on the 100WC this week! I love baking cakes and really celebrated that at the end you won the competition! I wonder if sometimes you could think of another word to use instead of 'got' - that would be my challenge to you!
Jan, Team 100WC, Auckland, NZ