The wind was howling it got louder and louder then suddenly the noise stopped. The petrified children screamed as loud as they could and then they ran as fast as their little legs would carry them. Nearly a fast as a bold black panther. Then the noise suddenly started again. The door slammed shut and then there was a noise of a door locking. It went silent; you could almost hear a pin drop. What had happened? The roaring wind growled viciously. Meanwhile the terrified children screamed so loud that it would pierce your own eardrum. Who locked the door? It was a mysteriously strange…
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteWhat a dramatic tale you have told, Leah. Your use of descriptive words was very effective in capturing the reader's interest and creating strong visual images of what was happening. Not only did you use single words like 'howling,' or 'petrified,' or 'terrified,' but you also added relevant comparisons like 'as fast as a bold black panther.' Good job.
Ms. Sargent
Team 100 WC -- USA