Dear Diary,
Yesterday was Easter, and I had five yummy Easter eggs. Me and my twin sister Jessie always have a little challenge every Easter. This year we had to hide a chocolate mini egg in the house. If I didn't find the egg, Jessie would get my five yummy Easter eggs, but if Jessie couldn't find the egg I would get her five Easter eggs. So we started the challenge, Jessie found her egg straight away, but when it was my turn it took me a while. No one had ever won any of the challenges. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the egg...
Romola -
ReplyDeleteThis is a well-constructed story, and the sentences are put together nicely, too: not too long, and not too short. One of the things I particularly liked was that you used a good selection of different words to start your sentences. This provides variety and makes your writing more interesting for your readers.
Well done,
-MikeB (team 100wc, Essex, UK).
Hi Romola,
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a diary entry and how you explained the challenge and your use of the prompt. Wonderful sentence structures, too! Good job!
Laura A, Team100, Luxembourg
The diary idea was great; it was a good way to express your fellings and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou used a good variety of sentence structures
Next use some more wow words