Saturday 11 January 2014

… but when I put the batteries in it …by Finlay

There was a young geeky boy called Tom. He lived a ginormous house because of his family being rich. The day that he woke it was CHRISTMAS day! Which Tom thought was the best day. When he eventually got to go down his long, windy stairs and into the huge lounge all he could see was presents everywhere! After he had opened all of his presents he could see a gigantic present in a box. It was a mac book pro but when I put the batteries in it he felt incredibly excited.

2 comments:

  1. Well done on your entry to this week's 100 Word Challenge Finlay. I very much enjoyed reading your story - I agree with Tom that Christmas Day is a great day! Keep writing!

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  2. Loved your descriptions of everything, very vivid and exciting. Ginormous house, windy stairs, gigantic present; all of these have great adjectives. You might consider a comma after Christmas Day instead of the exclamation mark. Great story, keep writing!

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