…..the violent storm was ………
The violent storm was loud, the rain banging on my roof and windows as I laid in my bed wondering what would happen could I get sucked into a hurricane I didn’t know. Suddenly I heard a big bang outside my window. I tried to see what had happened but it was impossible to do so because the gusty wind was making the rain swirl around. But then the house started to shake I looked out my window again I still couldn’t see anything all I knew was the whole house was being picked up…
You have left us on a real cliff hanger there!
ReplyDeleteYou could have punctuated your first sentence differently, for example, you have asked yourself a question but not used a question mark.
Lovley writting you make me want to read more you did great. by Summer .
ReplyDeleteI like it when you said gusty wind.very good ,well done
ReplyDeleteby joshua.
I like the way you tryed to predict what was going to happen, it made me want to read more, and a good use of an eclipse by Romola
ReplyDelete