Saturday 3 February 2018

The Family by Tyler S


"What is in there?"asked the child to its parents that were standing nearby.
"I have absolutley no idea." answered one parent.
"Me neither," replied the other. "It just dosen't look natural," Odd looking objects everywhere."
"They are not speaking or moving," the child observed "it all looks so weird,not like us at all."
"I wonder what they are made of," spoke the first parent.
"Well I think it is boring," sighed the child "There is nothing for us to do here. Let's go home."
"Let's find the nearest portal and go back home," they agreed.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tyler,

    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! The prompt is about a group of stony statues. You describe a piece which evokes a family setting, on an outing which by the seems of things isn’t going too well. While this is unique for the sculptures in question, family outings are central to the lives of everyone, and this theme touches all readers making this piece very relatable. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of their looks, feelings and thoughts as if they were alive. This is really unique and incredibly well crafted. I can relate to this as I think that one of the best parts of having spending time together and bonding more as a unit. By making the piece about the characters observing the statues, this gives the piece a good structure, much like the family are actually the narrators. This gives the piece a very nice flow, and is captured really well. Wondering what they actually are is relatable as most people would also think that if they saw something similar. It also introduces the reader to the story effectively. This grounds the piece. The characters thinking that the statues are strange is also to the same effect, as people tend to see the differences rather than similarities. Indeed, explaining how they are ‘not like us’ really emphasises this. The conclusion that the they do something else is thus inevitable, but twisted by your mentioning of the portal, giving the piece a sudden sci-fi turn. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of quotation marks. Keep up the good work!

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