Saturday 3 February 2018

The statues by Maddie

The family were trying to decide which restaurant they want to eat at. 
"There are; Bill's around the corner, Nando's across the road but behind us there's a Pizza Express." explained the father to his wife and daughter.
 A few hours passed and they still hadn't decided but eventually the daughter tried to move but noticed they were all stuck to the pavement. 
"AHHH!!" shouted the parents. 
They were mortified and started trying to pull themselves free but they couldn't. They realised that they'd taken too long to decide and turned in to stone statues. What a strange thing!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Maddie,

    This is a really nice piece, and a great use of the prompt! The prompt is indeed a group of strange rock like sculptures. You explain a family setting which takes a dark is not amusing turn when they spend too long in deciding what to eat and get turned to stone statues on the pavement. I can relate to this as I have been in the situation where we cannot decide what to eat before – it can take very long! The start of the piece that sets this out means that we know what is going on and gives the piece some structure. This gives the piece a more natural feel than others, and is captured really well. This grounds the piece. Your mentioning of specific places to eat like Bill’s and Nando’s shows great knowledge and really makes the piece relatable to the reader. Likewise, explicitly mentioning the time going by as hours and hours really emphasises how long it is actually taking, giving an almost visual feel to the piece. The shock that everyone is stuck to the pavement is frightening, and really draws the reader into the piece. While this is the case, it also has a lot of comic effect and keeps the piece fresh. The turning of everyone into a statue though is sad, and ends the piece in a fashion which the reader may be confused about, nevertheless leaving the story in the mind of the reader. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your varying of exclamation and quotation marks. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete