Today was the day that Samantha was going to the moon and the best thing about it is she is the first woman to go there! Of course she is really excited, but the journey is about three days, which Sam is not very pleased about but she'll hopefully sleep a bit of it.
"One hour until launch..." Sam heard a voice in her helmet.
"Copy that," she said but it felt more than an hour.
She wrote a bit of a dairy and here is the first line or so of it. We were moving very fast when we took off blast....
Hi Ben,
ReplyDeleteSamantha sounds awesome! I hope we get to hear more about her trip to the Moon in your next stories. In terms of advice, I think your use of verb tenses could be a bit more consistent as you switch between past and present.
Is Samantha on her own on her trip to the Moon? Why is she upset it will take three days to get there? These are some questions you might want to consider if you want to write some more about her! Well done!
All best,
Elise (Team100) :)