Suddenly zombies came out and sour them two trying to break into the house and trying to case them two back to their own house. Then the bad boy realized it were his old friend but dint really care just ran and ran till he caught them all the neighbours woke up because it were about 12.00 midnight. Then they came out and tried to save them but they fought that they was trying to catch them. Then they heard a massive noise just like a police car with all the stress they were having in the large cottage.
Paris you need to think carefully about your use of was (I he she it) and were (we they you).
ReplyDeleteI am not sure where the cottage you mentioned at the end comes into the story?
Try reading your story aloud - does it make sense al the way through?