Caitlin was very bored wondering what to do? She decided to call for her best friend Lewis. Around the tight narrow corner was a huge dusty haunted house which had been there for ages and ages. Caitlin and Lewis had always wondered what was inside! They decided to go and investigate this haunted mansion. They sneaked around the back of the house and climbed over the broken fence wondering what was inside. There was a broken window so they climbed through! In the room was just a small box but when she lifted the lid there came a piercing squeal!
A great entry to this weeks 100 WC Finlay!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you have used language carefully to build up tension. I wonder what it was that made the 'piercing scream'!
You are obviously working hard with your writing and I hope you enter 100 WC again soon.
To make your work even better, try to add more variety to your sentence openers. you could try opening with a verb?
Well done Mrs N Goulbourne, Team 100, Liverpool, UK