Wednesday 19 March 2014

…look up! Can you see… by Amy

Early one morning I was awoken by the pain of my broken wrist. Carefully I dragged myself out of bed. I couldn't believe how early it was. Maybe I could have a party. Suddenly I realised what day it was. It was my Mum's birthday. I thought of something that would make a huge smile on her face. A SURPRISE PARTY! So I quickly invited as many people as possible. Then prepared the cake. Then made the room all pretty. After 2 hours of hard work the guests arrived. Two seconds after they arrived we had to shout, "Surprise." You should have seen the smile on her face. I got my Mum and said, "Look up! Can you see?" 
She said, "Yes it is very beautiful."
Mum had the best birthday ever.

2 comments:

  1. Amy, thank you for sharing your fun story for this week's 100WC. You have shown so many skills for careful writing as this post is punctuated well, spellings have been checked and you have included different ways to begin your sentences so that your reader stays interested. I love the way that you speak directly to the reader with 'You should have seen the smile on her face' so that the reader is really involved with the story.
    Super writing. I really enjoyed reading this.
    Mrs Neale (Team 100WC)

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  2. Great use of punctuation! WELL DONE :)

    Ella, Stubbins Primary School

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